All the news that's fit to...wha?

So, I, um, should be working, but the news has just been so darned interesting lately.

What with the Geneva Conventions out the window, the Dow at an all-time high, and North Korea rattling its nuclear sabre, plus that whole Mark Foley thing in Washington (which Wonkette, ever trying to be dirty, has unceremoniously named Page*$#&ergate), how COULD I have missed this?

I am not fascinated by Paris Hilton, but I do appreciate an AP reporter having a good time with a witless topic. And further, on Hilton and her ilk, I have twice sighted someone who I SWORE was Nicole Richie, but who I think must now just be a freshman who missed the memo that you don't bring your Pomeranian to class.

Insane news notwithstanding, it is a great day, full of all-caps and exclamation points. We are getting things done! It is sunny like California here! I had alphabet soup with my lunch!

Enjoy, kids - now get back to work!